3 essential steps to combat Stress in Leadership
"I wake frequently during the night and can't get back to sleep."
"I feel overwhelmed with the amount of work I need to get done."
"I don't have time to stop for lunch, I'll just grab another coffee."
Sound familiar?
These days, it is uncommon not to hear clients talk about their stress or overwhelm at work.
Recent research suggests that more than 80% of leaders are leading from a place of stress, which often shows up as either:
Fight (Controlling to excel, achieve, dominate, control or win in leadership)
Flight (Protecting by being superior, right, self-sufficient, or distant)
Freeze (Becoming stuck or unable to act, avoiding decisions or responsibilities)
Fawn (Complying to be loved, meet expectations, please, and be accepted by others)
There is no doubt that our world is becoming increasingly volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous. And there is no sign of it getting any easier anytime soon (or ever).
How science can help us to combat the stressors of leadership
We know that when we are stressed, the thinking part of our brain shuts down and we react from emotion. Have you ever reacted to a situation at work, only to later have regret or remorse? It was likely you reacted from emotion, and then your rational, thinking part of your brain kicked back into gear and generated the feelings of regret.
This cycle is all thanks to the amygdala, which is responsible for keeping us safe and alive. It does this automatically whenever it perceives a threat.
The problem? It can't differentiate between a real or imagined threat! Have you ever jumped out of the way when you thought you saw a snake, only to realise it was a piece of rope?
You only need to think a threat is real to be activated.
For example in leadership, you only need to think your boss is angry at you to be triggered. You only need to think your latest strategy wasn't well-received to be triggered.
When this happens, your brain releases stress hormones into your body, which can take up to four hours to be out of your system. No wonder stress can feel so mentally and physically exhausting!
Signs you may be stressed as a leader:
Poor sleep
Poor eating (overeating or undereating)
Fear or anxiety
Running on nervous energy
Difficulty staying focused
Physiological signs - sweaty palms, racing heart rate, jittery, tense neck and shoulders etc.
Substance overuse (alcohol, tobacco, caffeine etc)
The 3 essential steps to combat stress in leadership ('ABC')
Combat stress in the present moment using this simple 3-step ABC process.
A = Acknowledge
Becoming aware and acknowledging signs you are stressed is the first step to addressing it! Befriend your stress responses...what are your physiological signs that you are having a stress response? (Fight/flight/freeze/fawn) Next time you realise you are stressed, notice your physiological, emotional and cognitive responses. Focus on becoming aware that you are stressed in the present moment and acknowledge what you are experiencing.
B = Breathe/Break
When you notice your state of stress, take time to calm your nervous system with focused breathing. Pause and use the 5-2-7 technique (inhale for 5 seconds, pause for 2, exhale for 7). With practice, you can use this in real-time during conversations. Remember: “Breath is your friend, urgency is your enemy.” If needed, take a break. You may also try visualising a time when you felt a deep sense of trust and safety. Movement, like a walk, can also help.
C = Choose
What is your desire for yourself and/or the situation? What outcome are you striving to achieve? Often when our stress response is triggered, we react to a negative feeling (eg. Fear) vs moving towards our goals and desires. Use your own language to create your own reminder about how best to refocus you on what matters most. Come up with a word or phrase to clarify what your desire is e.g. "a positive relationship with my direct report." Consider your options and consciously choose a response that aligns with your intention.
The ABC sequence can be practiced at any time - at work, with your kids and with your partner.
Give it a go and see how these simple steps can combat stress in leadership, and facilitate calm, logical and effective responses in a turbulent, VUCA environment.