Why personal & professional can’t really be separated (and why it’s costing your organisation)
For years, we’ve often been conditioned keep our personal life at home and bring only our “professional self” to work. It’s clean. It’s compartmentalised. And it’s also a bit of lie.
The truth is, the behaviours and problems that show up in an organisation often have roots outside of work. The beliefs we hold—many of which were shaped in childhood—don’t disappear when we walk into the office. These deeply ingrained patterns influence how we interact, how we respond to challenges, and ultimately, how we show up professionally.
In today’s fast-changing world, this separation isn’t just unrealistic—it’s holding organisations back. At the heart of this issue lies a concept called Immunity to Change, developed by Robert Kegan & Lisa Lahey. It’s why your team can attend the best training, gain new skills, and then… nothing changes. It’s not because they don’t care or aren’t trying—it’s because something deeper is at play.
Skills aren’t the only problem
Organisations spend billions on training programs, leadership development, and skill-building initiatives every year. Yet time and again, the outcomes don’t match the investment. Team members leave workshops inspired, yet often revert to the same behaviours weeks later. Leaders scratch their heads, wondering why those hard-won skills aren’t translating into action.
The truth? Skills alone don’t often create change.
Change falters because of what’s beneath the surface—a hidden immunity. This immunity is an internal mechanism designed to protect us from what we fear. And while it’s great at keeping us “safe,” it’s equally effective at keeping us stuck.
The hidden Immunity: Competing Commitments
Here’s how it works: People aren’t failing to enact skills because they don’t want to. They’re failing because of a competing commitment, often driven by an unspoken fear.
For example:
A leader is trained in how to provide feedback effectively but avoids it.
On the surface, they’re committed to becoming a better leader.
But underneath, they’re equally committed to avoiding conflict, stemming from a fear of being disliked or seen as harsh. Perhaps they learned early on that speaking up led to rejection or criticism.
The result? They enact behaviours that directly contradict the skills they’ve been taught, driven by a hidden belief like, “If I give feedback that makes others uncomfortable, I’ll lose their approval.”
Until this fear and its underlying belief are uncovered and addressed, no amount of ‘skill-building’ will make a difference.
Organisations are no different
This isn’t just about individuals. Teams and organisations have their own immunities. For example:
An organisation may claim it’s committed to innovation, investing in brainstorming sessions and tools.
But if there’s an unspoken belief that “Mistakes will damage our reputation,” employees will avoid risks, stifling creativity. This belief often mirrors personal experiences—perhaps key leaders grew up in environments where failure was punished, not seen as a learning opportunity. Over time, they internalised the idea that mistakes lead to shame or loss of trust, and that belief now unconsciously shapes organisational behaviour.
It’s not a lack of tools or talent. It’s a hidden fear driving opposing behaviours.
Why personal growth drives business growth
This is why we can’t separate personal from professional anymore. Change requires more than skills—it requires surfacing and challenging the beliefs that drive our fears and hold us back.
When individuals work through these fears, they unlock their capacity to act in alignment with their stated commitments. When organisations do the same, they unleash their full potential.
Here’s the good news: uncovering hidden immunities isn’t about “fixing” people. It’s about creating environments where these fears and beliefs can surface without judgement—where individuals and teams can reflect, experiment, and grow.
The key to real change
If your organisation is stuck despite investing in skills, it’s time to look deeper. Consider:
What competing commitments might be at play here?
What unspoken fears or beliefs are driving behaviours that work against our intentions?
Real change happens when we stop investing in surface-level solutions and start addressing the hidden drivers beneath them.
When we understand that personal growth and professional performance are inseparable, we create space for people to bring their full selves to work—not just their skills, but their humanity. That’s the foundation of true transformation and the key to building organisational unity.